How my copywriting skills made me one very popular hottie on online dating sites…

And what not to say to a copywriter!

As an affectionate little chatterbox who doesn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, I decided it was time to join a dating app. It was my daughter’s idea although her telling me to ‘try Tinder’ didn’t last long!

I thought I’d try the ‘decent’ apps like Zoosk, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony and so on. Not wanting to go broke, I settled on Zoosk, although I’m not sure it’s what you’d call ‘decent’ really.

I set about using my copywriting skills to tell my story. It was a huge hit. 3 hours later when I checked in, I had 258 notifications.

My first reaction was holy crap, I’m an amazing copywriter! Then, wow, I started reading the messages as they flooded in. The ones who had read my profile realised I was more than a photo and that gave me some hope.

All the ones who simply commented on my stunning eyes or sent me a heart were ignored (although I felt like a bitch). Ones who attempted a conversation got ‘thanks for your message’ (least I could do yeah – we’re all humans). And the ones who got nasty if I didn’t respond quick enough or proposed marriage were quickly blocked.

It’s a wacky online dating world let me tell you.

Here’s how I wrote my online dating profile using my copywriting skills

My story isn’t a fairy-tale and I’m far from being a little princess or the wicked witch. I’m just me, a real human who creates her own story.

I want to make the most of life – it’s too short for BS.

I laugh, I cry (at any movie with an ending), I have a wacky sense of humour, I keep it real (and sometimes put my foot in it), I know what I want in life, and I’m not a drama queen (no one has time for that yeah?).

I have older kids who are out of home living their lives, leaving me in mumtirement. They always make me smile and are pretty cool, decent and smart humans.

I also have a dog, a cat and lizards – although my fav animal is a giraffe (but local laws are a bit strict on keeping them in a backyard)…

I have tattoos and love them. Don’t ask me how many as I’ve lost count!

I can balance a spoon on my nose (although it’s not exactly a handy party trick hey).

And I’m not perfect but I’m happy.

Oh and I’m not into immature jerks, drug takers, one-nighters, psychos and guys who’ll waste my time as I’m worth more than that. That’s fair enough yeah?

And here are my top tips on how I wrote a rocking online dating profile:

• Keep it real
• Don’t bullshit
• Inject some humour
• Be honest

If you’re serious about finding a match, you need to be yourself to attract people like you.

Oh, and if you write to an amazing copywriter with a rocking profile and you send messages without grammar or the ability to string a sentence together, you’re probs not my type!

But a quick warning about these online dating sites

There are some jerks online – males and females (I’ve been told so many horror stories from the blokes too). Fake profiles. Desperate chicks looking for baby daddies to support them. Flat out crazies. And I met some, creating a blocklist longer than Santa’s naughty list.

It’s a tad scary honestly.

Imagine never using these apps as a young chick, then turning 41 and working out how this online dating world works. It’s an eye-opener that’s for sure.

I began to wonder if there were any normal people in this world. But there are, I have hope.

And finally, here’s what NOT to say in messages to attract a clever copywriter (you’ll love these)

• I’m going to marry you (gag, I’ve failed at that twice, why would I marry a stranger?)
• Your eyes are like the moon (no man, they’re not white)
• Your eyes are mesmerising I could stare at them all day (umm, I’d like my guy to have a job too)
• Hay! (yeah horses eat it – I’m not a horse)
• What’s Mon short for (if they believe Monday as my parents were hippies, they’re out)
• You look all rite (nope – spelling dude, spelling – and I’m half right and half left anyway)
• You sound like a funny chick (yeah, no shit sherlock, I am)
• Wow, your photos are gorgeous (yep, coz I haven’t used the rabbit or dog Snap filter, so you won’t need to turn up to a date wondering if you need to bring a carrot or a can of Pal)
• Why are you single (ummm, unlucky I guess)
• Are you a stripper (no dude, I’m a copywriter and yes, I know you’ll have to Google that)
• You’re not 41 (why would I lie that I’m older than I really am hey?)

So, where does this leave me with online dating profile writing?

I rock at it! If you’re a single lady or guy, I’d love to help you write a profile that is all you, humanised and will help you to attract fewer crazies and more decent humans. Trust me, there are some amazing humans to meet in this world, but it takes a good profile to help you weed out the time-wasters. Message me baby!

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